Many Christians struggle with anxiety disorders, depression, OCD, insomnia, or other mental health issues. However, much of the help for these issues from a Christian perspective online is ineffective, and clearly not created by people who have actually struggled with one of these issues themselves. That's why I wanted to make this article.
Why do I feel qualified to write about this topic? I have struggled with a pretty severe anxiety disorder in the past, which was quite disruptive to my life. I've managed to overcome it, and I did so by going through a very rational, repeatable set of steps. My recovery was not a fluke. It is very predictable who is going to have mental health issues, and overcoming them is in turn just as predictable.
So, without further ado, this is my guide to help my brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling in this area.
It is perfectly reasonable to think that your thoughts happen to you. After all, it is hard to put into words why exactly you are thinking something, at any given time.
However, your thoughts - particularly the unhelpful thoughts that are perpetuating your problem right now - absolutely do not happen "to" you. They are generated by a set of beliefs that you have about yourself (self-esteem), others (social anxiety), and your ability to handle certain circumstances (sense of power and control).
For example:
In the car, or when thinking about the car, it may feel like the horrible thoughts that you're experiencing are happening to you, along with whatever feelings those thoughts bring. But they are not. They are being generated by the belief that if you got into a car crash, you wouldn't be able to tolerate it.
Once you believe that you could not tolerate something, you have no choice but to try to control it. Certain people are then driven to brood, obsess, and worry over whatever that situation is, believing that doing so is helpful, because maybe there's an answer to be found in the brooding. However, there is never any consolation, because not everything in life can be controlled, or avoided. As a result, the brooding just makes the problem seem bigger, more terrible, and makes them feel even worse.
But what was the root of all of this? The belief that you could not cope, were something to happen. It was a belief about yourself which generated those thoughts. So, we need to find a way to begin to address those beliefs.
On this site, I talk about beliefs all the time. However, those are objective beliefs, in propositions. The beliefs that you have about yourself are something entirely different.
Our beliefs about ourselves are not very objective. They are not beliefs like the fact that gravity exists, or that two plus two equals four. Such beliefs are grounded in facts and reality, and can easily be changed as soon as evidence is presented for or against them.
However, the beliefs that we have about ourselves are beliefs that we have convinced ourselves of, because we think they help us, consciously or unconsciously. They are more emotional in nature, and therefore, they are more difficult to change.
The way to begin addressing these unhelpful beliefs is very simple, and can be summarized concisely as follows:
The above method may seem insultingly simple, given how you're feeling, and how big this problem seems to you. Recalling how I felt when I started the program, I would have been skeptical as well. That's totally fine. You don't need to believe me right now. Just be willing to try it to the best of your ability, and you will see for yourself. You have absolutely nothing to lose, and I know for a fact that you have an incredible amount of peace of mind to gain.
For this program to be effective, it must be applied to every area of your life. If you are thinking about tomorrow, or talking with someone, or going to the store, or whatever, you want to think about that situation in helpful, empowering ways, and imagine it going well. No matter what the situation is, picture the absolute best outcome in your mind, with yourself calm, confident, and in control. As with the rest of your thinking, refuse to allow your imagination to work against you.
Recall the belief-thought cycle, and how it can trap us in unhelpful beliefs. We are interrupting that negative cycle with this method. Right now, our beliefs are generating our thoughts, and those thoughts are then perpetuating our beliefs. By beginning to take control of our thoughts, we start to change our beliefs.
While this method is extremely simple, and concise, it does take persistent and continuous effort to work. The good news is that it doesn't take long to begin to work. Within two weeks of putting in constant effort, you should feel significantly better. It's simply a matter of paying attention to when you aren't thinking something empowering and helpful, and putting in some effort to change.
I want to reiterate this, because it's so important - simply reading this article will do nothing for you. You have to put in effort to managing your thinking, and stick with it, consistently, for as long as it takes. If all you do is read this quick article, there's no reason to expect anything to change. You have to decide for yourself that this is something you want to do, and then you have to do it consistently.
Another very important part of this method, related to the general goal of learning to manage your thinking, is processing your positives.
When you have good days, notice improvements in your thinking, or accomplish something, really make a point to process it. Congratulate yourself, as if it had been your best friend that had done it. Whenever you have time, dwell on all the positive, helpful things you've done or achieved - no matter how small.
Processing your achievements, if you think about it, is bound to be a massive part of your self esteem. It is the evidence that you are giving yourself that you are worthwhile, competent, and capable.
If, on the other hand, you never give yourself credit, and refuse to process anything good that you do, you're going to make a big barrier to changing your beliefs.
So, it's vital to get in the habit of processing anything and everything good that you've done.
Throughout the coming weeks, and months, it's inevitable that you will create some difficult days for yourself, at some point. That's totally okay, and even expected. Don't catasphrophize it. Acknowledge where you haven't been managing your thinking very well, and set on to do better.
Going along with not catastrophizing a setback is being careful of your "inner voice", or how you think about and talk to yourself. Do not be self-critical for having a bad day, or making a mistake. Throughout this program, you want to learn to talk to yourself as if you were a parent talking to a child that they loved. The desire to beat yourself up comes from the same unhelpful, untrue beliefs that you have learned up to this point in life, and they deserve no attention whatsoever.
As far as pulling yourself out of a difficult stretch of time, this is done primarily by getting some perspective, and you do that by giving yourself evidence:
Some more evidence that you can offer yourself is taking some time to really think, in detail, about challenges you've overcome in the past. For instance, I bet that the first time you ever went swimming in deep water, you were terrified, and felt really awful. Why? Were you born to be terrified of water? Were you hopeless, forever doomed to be petrified of being in deep water, for your entire life?
Of course not - you simply hadn't learned to manage your thinking with respect to that situation yet. After a few times, you weren't afraid of the water at all. Why? Did anything about the water change? No, you did, and you can do the same thing again, no matter what situation you are trying to overcome now. I'm sure you can think of many such examples, if you tried.
Once you get your perspective back, you'll be right back on track. If you have some failures, make them seem small. Minimize them. They aren't worth worrying about, because they don't matter, and didn't happen "to" you. They were just instances where you let your thoughts get away from you a bit. That's okay. Get centered, and start making progress again.
The Biblical principles that underlie this method are numerous.
Namely:
Finally, perhaps most powerful of all, we are exhorted to never worry by the Lord himself, in light of the fact that He is constantly with us, and watching over us (Matthew 6:25-34, 28:20, Luke 12:6-7, Hebrews 13:5):
Matthew 10:29-31
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.
30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
God will take care of whatever you can't control, so don't waste even a second thinking about it. It's okay if you've trained yourself to worry, or despair, because you can untrain yourself, and Jesus Christ is going to be there with you the entire time.
Finally, we can look at how often we are promised peace in Bible (John 14:27, 16:33, Colossians 3:15, Philippians 4:6-7, etc.). God wasn't taunting you in these passages with something unobtainable. Peace is your birthright as a child of God, and something that God has made available to all, without exception, because it's reflective of your standing with Him (Romans 5:1). It's just a matter of simply learning how to manage your thinking, so that you can take advantage of these promises.
This program is nothing more than learning the vital, fundamental skill of managing your thinking. Having a better sense of control over your thinking will greatly improve how you view yourself, your ability to handle problems in life, and how you feel interacting with others. In turn, whatever issues stemmed from the deficiencies you had in these areas - be they OCD, anxiety, panic, phobias, depression, or otherwise - will be addressed, because those things never had anything to do with whatever external cause you were assigning them to. Having a robust mental health is internal - it depends wholly on you, and you always have the ability to improve your situation. It just takes a little effort, and practice.
The principles in this article are mainly from the Thrive Program, which was the program that I personally undertook when I was struggling, and didn't know what to do to make myself better.
The program was created by a psychologist who is also an Atheist, which is why I've tried to take the principles, and bring them into a Christian perspective. However, this article is still only an ultra condensed form of the 250+ page program manual, which goes into much more detail on everything discussed above, and more.
If you are really struggling, please feel free to contact me. I am available to explain any questions you may have about the program, or offer some more support.